Luke just found out who his teacher will be for first grade and who else will be in his class. He is pretty excited that four of the boys that he really liked in his class last year will be in his classroom this year. When I listed the four girls from his kindergarten class on this year's class roster, he mentioned that he considers two of them to be his friends.
Then he sighed. A long, deep sigh.
"But McKenzie isn't in my class," he said.
I vaguely remembered that McKenzie was the girl he called his girlfriend last year.
"She is sort of my girlfriend, Mom," he said. "Really."
"Oh, okay," I answered, as nonchalantly as possible.
"I want a girlfriend!" whined Henry.
"You can have one!" said Luke emphatically. "All boys need girlfriends."
"Can Spiderman be my girlfriend?" asked Henry.
“No, Henry. Spiderman is a boy. If you want him for a boyfriend, that means you are a girl,” said Luke.
“Do girls have vaginas?” asked Henry, abruptly.
“Yes,” I said.
“Girls don’t poop out of their butts?” he asked.
A rudimentary anatomy lesson ensued. Rudimentary because during all of this, I was running while pushing them both—over 80 pounds of kid—in the double jogging stroller.
After Henry was a little clearer on waste elimination, he told Luke, “Okay, I’ll have a big girl friend.”
Luke laughed—perhaps envisioning Henry and a giantess—but I told Luke that Henry was probably just thinking of a big girl who was his friend. On our trip, he considered his cousins, 10, 13 and 16, to be “big girls,” and he loved them. They played with him, painted his face, read him books, danced with him.
“No, Henry, you need a GIRLFRIEND,” said Luke.
“What do you mean by girlfriend, Luke?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied.
“A girl you are friends with?” I asked.
“No, Mom,” he answered, obviously impatient with me.
“A girl you like an extra lot?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, “one you might marry.”
“Oh, so the other night when you said that you would never move out of the house, when you said you would live with Mom and Dad forever—that might not be true?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible, lest the excitement in my voice betray me.
“Yah, I guess I might move out some day,” he answered.
Then he sighed. A long, deep sigh.
"But McKenzie isn't in my class," he said.
I vaguely remembered that McKenzie was the girl he called his girlfriend last year.
"She is sort of my girlfriend, Mom," he said. "Really."
"Oh, okay," I answered, as nonchalantly as possible.
"I want a girlfriend!" whined Henry.
"You can have one!" said Luke emphatically. "All boys need girlfriends."
"Can Spiderman be my girlfriend?" asked Henry.
“No, Henry. Spiderman is a boy. If you want him for a boyfriend, that means you are a girl,” said Luke.
“Do girls have vaginas?” asked Henry, abruptly.
“Yes,” I said.
“Girls don’t poop out of their butts?” he asked.
A rudimentary anatomy lesson ensued. Rudimentary because during all of this, I was running while pushing them both—over 80 pounds of kid—in the double jogging stroller.
After Henry was a little clearer on waste elimination, he told Luke, “Okay, I’ll have a big girl friend.”
Luke laughed—perhaps envisioning Henry and a giantess—but I told Luke that Henry was probably just thinking of a big girl who was his friend. On our trip, he considered his cousins, 10, 13 and 16, to be “big girls,” and he loved them. They played with him, painted his face, read him books, danced with him.
“No, Henry, you need a GIRLFRIEND,” said Luke.
“What do you mean by girlfriend, Luke?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied.
“A girl you are friends with?” I asked.
“No, Mom,” he answered, obviously impatient with me.
“A girl you like an extra lot?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, “one you might marry.”
“Oh, so the other night when you said that you would never move out of the house, when you said you would live with Mom and Dad forever—that might not be true?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible, lest the excitement in my voice betray me.
“Yah, I guess I might move out some day,” he answered.
3 comments:
i'm laughing and i can't think of any comments ... it's just so darn funny. all of it.
I'm glad you thought it was funny, So Yung. I swear, I'm going to have to keep pushing them in the jogging stroller forever--we have some great conversations.
This is really cute. What impresses me, in addition to your writing generally, is that you can remember all this detail!
Hazel had a little boy following her around at the pool the other day. Eventually, she reports, he asked if he could kiss her. She told him that only teenagers and mommies and daddies kiss. :)
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