Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I’m feeling overwhelmed by all that I haven’t posted in the last month. July began with Craig going out of town. As soon as he returned, we moved, had out of town guests (just for one night, but I’m pregnant, so it counts as busy-making), went on vacation, and returned to much unpacking. We welcomed August with a pool party out at my friend’s parents’ lake house, complete with hours of swimming, boat rides and jet skiing. Since then we’ve attended three other parties and hosted Luke’s birthday swimming bash. The summer is nearly gone and here we are sitting in a pile of unpacked boxes. I know the house will be in order eventually, but it is feeling like it is taking so, so long. I plan to post pictures of the new house at some point, but right now it would be rather mortifying.

Through all of the chaos and activity of this summer, there was one date that I focused on: August 6. That was the day of our big ultrasound and the day we would find out if our baby is of the boy or girl variety. We didn’t find out with Henry, and it was a fun surprise. But Craig prefers to know, and I felt like I wanted some time to adjust to the idea of either three boys or an only girl.

While I knew that I would like to have a girl, I thought that I didn’t care too much one way or another. But the thing is, I thought that it was a girl. I really believed that it was a girl, due to some combination of my severe nausea, the timing of conception, and my intuition, which was correct with both of the boys. And Craig KNEW, he told me, he KNEW that it was a girl.

But . . . we have a Scratch. Or a Ryujin, which is what the boys want to name him now, after a Japanese dragon god. Luke tells me that if we won’t agree to Ryujin, he could possibly accept Norwegian Ridgeback as an alternative. And last night, Henry asked me if we could nickname him Hell Assassin. Ahh, life with boys.

And here’s the kind of embarrassing part: I cried when we found out that we are having another boy. I’m telling you, I really believed that I didn’t care one way or another. But I was in shock. And, while I love this baby that is growing inside of me and wouldn’t change him, healthy and wonderful and unique, I have been mourning that fact that I will not be the parent of a girl. But I think I’m mostly over it now. I looked at some pictures of some really cute baby boys in a magazine at the gym yesterday, and that got my baby boy hormones flowing. And I bought him some fleece lined brown leather booties that are so, so cute. Those booties alone are helping a lot.

Scratch Ryujin Norwegian Ridgeback, aka Hell Assassin, I love you. You have been simply full of surprises.


Cary Milkweed said...

What a beautiful post, Ser. The two sons you have are so fabulous that I can see why another baby boy wanted to hang out with them. Their name choices alone are unspeakably cool!

Nancy Gift said...

I think your reaction shows your wisdom in finding out a bit about the baby you're having; adjustment time will be kind all around. You are such a wonderful mom to boys, and if you want to hear it sometime I can give you a litany of all the problems you will *never* have to worry about. (Although I recognize that you would gladly take whatever set of issues arrive with a healthy baby of either sort.)

You're great with those boys, Ser, all of them. They're all lucky to have you.

Patti said...

i went through the EXACT same thing when i was pregnant with tate. i didn't think i cared, but spent a few days being down and breaking into tears walking through the baby girl section at target.

of course now (and i know you know this) i am glad! tate is awesome! and hell assassin will be, too. :D

so yung wilson said...

wait ... are the boys reading HP?

Jenny said...

Oh Ser,

Another beautiful post. Let's talk soon! Life is simply full of surprises...

Boy Crazy said...

Hi there, found you through Blog Nosh and then went and read your Literary Mama post, which is what really persuaded me to check out your blog. I loved that essay!

And as a mama to 3 boys, I have to tell you congrats on the news of your third. I get what you're saying about mourning the idea of being a mother to a daughter, but there is something really special about being a mother to three boys, and I want to welcome you to the club. ;)

Come by and commiserate anytime. :)

Julia said...

Hi, Ser. I'm way behind on this but I have been thinking about you and your pregnancy and wondering what flavor you are having, so I'm glad I found this post about it. I think you have a gift with boys. I also think our desires in this area are pretty inscrutable. I don't think I *consciously* desired a boy with my second pregnancy but there is always a what if sort of hanging in the air when you haven't experienced the other side. At least your blog is available so that I can experience it vicariously. Anyway, congratulations! You are going to have more writing material than you know what to do with!