Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Regression All Around

I know my posts have been whiney and boring lately. I haven’t been telling very good stories. We’re struggling around here, and either my kids aren’t as fun and funny lately or I’m just not finding the story in it.

But here’s a quick one, before I launch into my complaints. Yesterday, knowing full well that this is not his parents’ choice for president, Luke told me that if he could vote, he would vote for John McCain.

“Why would you vote for him, Luke?” I asked.

“Because he is in the Republic, like in Star Wars.”

At least his reason is something besides rebelling against his parents.

So on to regression. It is happening around here. Big time. Both kids seem to be having a hard time adjusting to school. Luke is very angry these days. He used to be a biter and a hitter, and, although I sometimes have to get on him for being physically aggressive toward Henry, I haven’t had to deal with him being violent toward other kids in a long time. But remember how I was talking about my wonderful new town? How I finally fit in? How my web of friends is intertwining and overlapping and I’m weaving myself a wonderful, beautiful life? Well, yesterday at the park, Luke tried to throttle the son of one of my new acquaintances. Right in front of all the moms.

Not to sound like all I care about is what the other moms think. I’m quite concerned about Luke and his behavior, and I have just taken a couple of very good steps toward figuring out what is going on with him. But I have to admit, I also just felt very humiliated. I cried the whole way home.

And Henry. Henry had no trouble saying goodbye to me at school for the first few days. But yesterday, he pitched a full-on tantrum when we walked into school. I had to hand him, thrashing and kicking, over to his teachers. It might be because he hadn’t pooped since Sunday. We seem to have some sort of control issues going on. He appeared to be constipated, so I kept sitting him on the toilet yesterday morning. By yesterday afternoon, he refused to sit on the toilet even though he was writhing in pain. When he moaned and I looked at him, he said, “It’s nothing, Mom. I’m upset you are eating all the chips.”

He finally pooped in his pants. Now he’ll only go in a diaper.

And now I’m officially the author of a mommy blog, since all I can seem to do is rant about my kids and talk about poop.


paige maddex said...

I love this post - thanks for your honesty. Sometimes it just sucks. But like those first painful weeks of breastfeeding - it will pass - and of course (ironically) too fast.

Molly Sabourin said...

Mary SCREAMS (really loud)...everywhere. She SCREAMS at the Library when it's time to leave. She SCREAMS at the grocery store when we can't get a balloon. She SCREAMED her head off today at Michael's craft store and it was a lo-o-o-ng and humiliating walk from the crayon aisle to the front door. It's super embarrassing, but it won't last forever. We do the best we can, Ser, and then we love them and ourselves enough to shake it off, quiet the doubts and try again tomorrow.

This was poignant and will be comforting to many, I am sure.

Anonymous said...

Oh Ser - but the great thing about community is that because we all know each other, we know that when something like this happens that it's not because the kid is a brat or horribly undisciplined.

I felt so bad for you yesterday - I had a feeling that you were really upset...I hope you can continue to work on figuring out what's up with Luke.

I'm really glad to be getting to know you. :)

so yung wilson said...

Luke is a McCain supporter? Well, that might explain some of the anger ... it's one part of being Team Republic! Is he holding his guns and religion too bitterly close? Maybe it's time to ship him off to monastery school.

No, I'm kidding. And I'm sorry I'm not around to be of some support ... even if it's for an alone time break.

I appreciate your honesty to the depths of my being. It also scares me to the depths of my being ... but I won't be able to give any excuses and probably will feel real relief when it's my turn, at age 50, to tote around my screaming child with on-lookers wondering why the great-grandma can't take care of her great-grandchild and knowing I'm not the first, only, or last.

So how's the gray coming in? Is it silvery or dull yellow white?

Nancy said...

I don't care what you write; just keep it coming. I love reading your blog.

Whatever is going on, I don't doubt that the tree and the power outage had an effect that lasted beyond when the lights went on. It definitely took me a full week to feel recovered from that, even after the power was back.

Hang in there. I miss you!

Julia said...

Hey Ser,
I've been out of the blogging circuit for a while (and it seems like a lot of people have just stopped blogging), but it's so nice to come back here and find your stories. I keep thinking motherhood will get easier now that Esme is out of the baby stage, but I'm learning that I couldn't be more wrong about just changes. Hearing the stories of other mothers, though, is still the best medicine available.